by Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik | Jul 2, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Funny….I never felt “why me” in regards to my cancer diagnosis. I had smoked for many years, ate fast food, didn’t exercise sometimes. I had young children I needed to raise, but I was a nurse, I knew that never stopped cancer. And I’ve communicated with cancer patients who never smoked, never drank, who worked out every day and ate an organic vegetarian diet, and who asked “why me”. But I didn’t. Being a nurse in my situation had it’s ups and downs. In a sense I knew too much when I was diagnosed. I could read the medical research (which didn’t offer much hope). But I also knew how to look into clinical trials, to say no to my local oncologist and surgeon who wanted to treat me; I knew I needed a specialist, I knew I needed to see someone familiar with my disease.
I’ve been advocating for appendix cancer patients now for several years, and I see so many unfair cases. The single mom with a handicapped child who lost her battle. A woman who became a good friend and saw a specialist and had HIPEC who lost her battle; her kids were 4 and 6 years old. Another mom lost her battle, she had 4 children, one only 18 months old. I’ve talked to moms who only wanted to live long enough that their children would remember them when they were gone…and who didn’t make it.
So my “why me”, is why was I chosen to survive? I just hope I make a difference with my survival, and help others be where I am today.
by Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik | Jun 12, 2012 | Uncategorized |
We all know the big C- cancer. But there is a second C those of use diagnosed all want, the second C word is Cure. It seems like a word now not often used in the cancer community. Though 11 years cancer-free, I am still considered “long term remission”, still see an oncologist (thought only annually now). The “cure” word we want would mean we are forever done with cancer, don’t need testing or oncology appointments, that we can move on with our lives and not feel vulnerable anymore. But we don’t get that word now. We don’t get the “second C”. I thought of that as tonight I received an email from WebMD….don’t remember how I got on their mailing list, but the topic of today’s post was “The Big Question: Am I Cured?“.
I remember in my younger years, if someone survived cancer free for 5 years, they were considered “cured”. But some cancers recur many years later- my aunt had a breast cancer recurrence 17 years after her initial diagnosis. After 17 years of being cancer-free, her cancer came back. Some renal cancer patients have recurrences up to 20 years later. So now, the medical providers are afraid to use the word “cure”, though we so long to hear that word.
by Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik | Jun 11, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Cancer. We all fear it. When diagnosed, we all change our life perspectives and learn to live with uncertainty.
I’d have been grateful to only have breast cancer after being diagnosed with signet ring appendix cancer and learning of the survival stats. Funny, I’ve developed a menu of “good” and “bad” cancers. The best cancer to have in my book is basal cell skin cancer…almost never spreads, no chemo, remove it and you are done. A complete cure. I think thyroid cancer comes next. Surgery, no chemo, usually also a complete cure, though you have to take thyroid meds (which I do anyway). Prostate is also up there…sometimes without treatment it grows so slowly you’ll die of something else before it gets you. But me, I had a terminal diagnosis and an aggressive cancer and am cancer-free 11 years later. My sister-in-law, who got diagnosed with breast cancer, now three years later has an untreatable recurrence. Dan Fogelburg died of prostate cancer at age 57. I’ve always felt if I got diagnosed with breast cancer tomorrow it wouldn’t be a big deal, highly curable, a lot less surgery and chemo than I had. My daughter once told me, wouldn’t it be ironic if I died of breast cancer after surviving appendiceal, though?
But sometimes the “good” cancers have a bad outcome and the bad cancers have a good outcome. In my travels of the cancer world, I’ve met a long-term pancreatic cancer survivor, a long-term lung cancer survivor….both who had my same statistics.
Who knows…cancer is so fickle. There is no fairness.
by Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik | May 17, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Today I am an 11 year cancer-free survivor! No one has yet used the “cure”word, I am still in “long-term remission”. The anniversary date for me is a personal one…I don’t think anyone else in my family remembers the exact date,so for me it’s a personal celebration. Funny how those of us with a cancer diagnose remember exact dates forever. I was diagnosed March 29,2001. I had my cytoreduction surgery May 16, 2001. I finished chemo January 22,2002.
We all live with uncertainty after a cancer diagnosis. Though I am 11 years cancer-free, I still live with some uncertainty. I still don’ t take tomorrow for granted,which is both a good and bad thing. There is security in assuming a future, especially a long one. We all wannt to believe we will live to be 90 and will die peacefuly in our sleep. But most of us after a cancer diagnosis can’t assume that. It’s just a dream.
But I’ve come a long way. After my diagnosis I couldn’ t say the words “next year” for several years, as I didn’t feel I could take another year for granted. But now I’m in school, I have a three year committment to a degree. I couldn’t have made that kind of a comittment a few years ago. Progress after cancer, in a sense! I’m sure we all measure progess differently.
by Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik | May 6, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Yesterday I attended my eldest daughter’s college graduation. Another gift! I was given a terminal diagnosis when she was 11 and wanted so much to live to see her graduate from high school…now I’ve seen her graduate from college! Amazing!
Sorry I haven’t posted much here lately. My web site is finally back up, but the carolyn@appendix-cancer.com email is not yet working. If you need to email me, instead use clanglielesnik@gmail.com. Thanks!
