Funny….I never felt “why me” in regards to my cancer diagnosis. I had smoked for many years, ate fast food, didn’t exercise sometimes. I had young children I needed to raise, but I was a nurse, I knew that never stopped cancer. And I’ve communicated with cancer patients who never smoked, never drank, who worked out every day and ate an organic vegetarian diet, and who asked “why me”. But I didn’t. Being a nurse in my situation had it’s ups and downs. In a sense I knew too much when I was diagnosed. I could read the medical research (which didn’t offer much hope). But I also knew how to look into clinical trials, to say no to my local oncologist and surgeon who wanted to treat me; I knew I needed a specialist, I knew I needed to see someone familiar with my disease.
I’ve been advocating for appendix cancer patients now for several years, and I see so many unfair cases. The single mom with a handicapped child who lost her battle. A woman who became a good friend and saw a specialist and had HIPEC who lost her battle; her kids were 4 and 6 years old. Another mom lost her battle, she had 4 children, one only 18 months old. I’ve talked to moms who only wanted to live long enough that their children would remember them when they were gone…and who didn’t make it.
So my “why me”, is why was I chosen to survive? I just hope I make a difference with my survival, and help others be where I am today.